12 Questions to Ask the Couple Before Officiating Their Wedding

Published June 12, 2026 · Ceremony Planning

A great ceremony starts with a great conversation. Here are the 12 questions worth asking the couple before you write a single word.

1. How did you two meet? Get the real version, not the polished elevator-pitch version.
2. What was your first impression of each other?
3. When did you know this was the person you wanted to marry?
4. What tone do you want — funny, formal, emotional, brief, or a mix?
5. Do you want any religious or spiritual elements included?
6. Are there any rituals you’d like (unity candle, sand ceremony, handfasting, etc.)?
7. Do you want traditional vows, personal vows, or both?
8. Is there anyone you’d like acknowledged (a deceased parent, someone who couldn’t attend)?
9. Are there any topics or phrases you specifically don’t want mentioned?
10. How long do you want the ceremony to run?
11. Do you have a reading, quote, or song lyric that’s meaningful to you?
12. Is there anything about your relationship you want guests to understand that they might not already know?

How to use the answers

You won’t use every answer directly — the goal is to gather enough material that you can pick the 2-3 most specific, telling details and weave them into the ceremony (see our guide on personalizing a ceremony script).

Make this conversation easy

Send these questions ahead of time so the couple can think about their answers rather than being put on the spot. Our Ceremony Script Bundle includes a printable personalization worksheet with these exact questions, formatted to hand or email to the couple.